I Want You to Go Away
by i.l.risk
Summary: It's a Destiel fic! High School AU. Cas is a bit of an introvert and he likes to go to the library... a lot. Dean is... well, he's Dean; What are you gonna do? Some twist of fate (that'd you'd have to read about) brings them together and then forces (mostly internal) try to bring them apart. You've just gotta read it. No sex, just romance. Maybe Sam/Ruby (cause I like them. JUDGE).
1. The Hatred of Arrogance

**Welcome! This is my first shot at a Destiel fic! It may be the only one! Now, I think I should answer a question previous readers of mine may have. Yes, I'm still continuing my Akuroku and Free! fics. I'm just taking a _very_ long time. It will happen. Just be glad I haven't died Final Destination style. **

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><p>The library is my friend. It's my home at school. I find solace in the shelves; beauty in the books. I find being anonymous can help me stay alone. I know this place like the back of my hand. It's my domain. I came to appreciate the library after spending all my free time here. I've read over half its capacity in my high school career. In my future, I want to capture people with my stories; so it's good practice. People come in and I'm here to serve. I help them find what they need and I enjoy that. There are just some people that need more help than others. Unfortunately, that's how this story starts. Dean Winchester will be the death of me. He will somehow be my downfall and I hate him for it.<p>

Insert Bar

You wouldn't think that many people like to come to the library after the final bell rings and you're freed from classes for the day. I stay here for a while, pick up a book, and find a place in a comfortable chair. I like the quiet, but today turned out differently.

"Hello? Can I get some assistance?" A huskier voice called from the entrance.

I looked over the frames of my glasses, just to see if I could get a look at a face.

"Coming," I reluctantly said, trying to stay quiet; you know… library rules.

He was peering at the nonfiction shelves by the door. In a dark green jacket with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder stood Dean Winchester. I didn't know him, he didn't know me, and I could care less if that changed or not.

"Yes?"

He jumped, turning around with a startled look, and then smiled like nothing had happened. "Hi. I know you," he cocked his head, "You're Castiel. I think I have you in a couple classes."

"Four classes. And yes. And you're Dean. Now, what do you need?" Yeah, I was growing impatient. He cut me off from reading.

"Oh. I need to see a book on grammar."

I turned away from him and rolled my eyes. "Follow me." I speed-walked to a section of the room, not even checking to see if he was behind me or not. "Welcome to the four hundreds. Specifically four hundred and twenty-five. Hold your arms out," I instructed.

Dead did as he was told.

"Now, you asked for a book on grammar; there are fourteen here in this library. I'll let you use seven. We'll back track and pick up a few books on structure and writing systems, respectively." I added six more books to his stack. "Keep following and keep up."

I pulled a chair out from the closest table and took the books from him. "Sit. Read."

He gave me a look that closely resembled the phrase 'Are you shitting me?' My eyes went wide and I nodded my head, flipping one of the books open.

"Dude. I needed _one_ book. I'm not stupid." He stood and scanned over the books for a second and grabbed a thin, paperback book about sentences. "I want this one." He waved the book in the open space between us. "Check this out for me."

Dean pushed the chair in farther than it should go and trudged to the checkout station. I slid into the chair behind the computer and logged myself into the system.

"School ID?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Not on me."

"How about your ID number? You know, the one you use for lunch?"

"Seriously, dude. Just type my name in."

"It doesn't work that way."

He dropped the book on the desk and stormed to the exit. "You know what; I don't even give a damn anymore. I'll just Google it." And he left.

A moment after his exit, I stood over the desk and yelled out, "Rude!"

As I reshelved the books, I thought to myself. I love what I do, but I hate arrogant assholes who think I'm there to be taken advantage of. I mean, I'm there to help out, but you're not gonna be a hardcore dick about it. Dean Winchester is a hardcore dick.

Insert Bar

I walked home like usual. I'd take a school bus, but I don't leave the school early enough. My house wasn't that far, though. It gave me time to think.

There were no cars in the driveway at home; another night would be spent at home alone. Mom and Dad had left me alone often. They'd call it a date night on some occasions, but others, they were just out. I didn't care. The house was stocked with food and I could order movies when I wanted, but I usually binge watch TV shows about families.

After eating a grilled cheese sandwich and watching a show about the lives of adopted children, I finally shut everything down and venture upstairs. I took a peek in Mom and Dad's room. The bed's been made for two nights now. There are days I wish I had a sibling, but with these nights… I wish I wasn't even here.

My alarm was set for six in the morning, and it was only eight something at night. I didn't want to sleep, but was I just supposed to keep watching TV about people who actually saw their family? It's not like I live in the house of a CEO mondo-millionaire wealthy mother fucker that no one can stand. I just hate it sometimes.

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><p><strong>Now, I want opinions. You love it, like it, hate it. You wanna share it, fine. I'm on tumblr, I may see it again. I wanna know what you have to say. I like feedback. Should I keep going? Scrap it? Hide from all the Destiel fans who may want my head on a platter? I dunno. That's why I come to you (I'm smiling right now, just so you know I'm being serious). Now, just in case, I'm gonna go type up what I have of the next chapter. Bye.<br>**


	2. The Assbutt Has a Minion

**Ehh, here's the second chapter. It's considerably shorter. I still think you should tell me how things are going with this. It's a work in progress. Please tell me! TT_TT I'll love you and bake cookies. They'll even have little hearts frosted on them. **

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><p>I couldn't sleep well. At all. I woke an hour before my alarm should go off. I ate a breakfast of toast and two cups of coffee. I dressed like always: a white dress shirt, a blue tie, black pants, and obviously a trench coat; I was allowed to shop for myself most of the time. I tousled my hair in the mirror – my way of styling it – and smiled at the reflection.<p>

I walked to school that morning. The sun was just starting to rise, painting the sky a mixture of blue and orange; I loved this view. Sunrises meant you were there. You made it to the next day. That was always inspiring to me when you honestly wish the day before hadn't happened. God knows I've had more than my fair share of those days. If anyone ever wanted one from me, I'd gladly let them take a few, but it won't happen.

The school was open. I wasn't the first person to arrive, but I'd be the first person in the library… aside from the librarian. I should explain. I'm a student, yes, but I'm caught up and actually ahead of my peers in History classes. The school gave me the option to take a class called _library science_ – a junior librarian. I knew the library, the Dewey Decimal System, and I didn't want to take even more physical education. So, I did it. I spend about an hour there every day for class, and I quite like it.

"Good morning, Miss Siege," I said, entering the room.

A mousy woman stepped out from behind a shelf with found books I hand. She lowered her head and shot me with a gaze. "Castiel. I've told you before. I'm not a teacher here; call me Sara."

Miss Siege, I mean, Sara, was a book publisher. She'd told me that she'd published thirty novels. She gave up the job when people stopped buying; most of the authors she published were local nobodies who didn't make it very far in the literary world. She applied at the school when our last librarian became a dusty old woman who couldn't handle teenagers anymore.

"I'm sorry, Miss- Sara."

"You're so polite, Castiel. Whatcha doing here so early?" She went back to reshelving and I sta at the computer.

"Mom and Dad aren't home."

"Again?"

"They haven't been back yet."

She cocked her head around the shelf. "Oh."

"It's fine."

Our conversation was cut short when a short kid walked in. He looked a little timid, and he had a mop of thickish brown hair sprouting from his head. "Uhm… can you tell me where books on the English language are?"

I raised an eyebrow and glanced at the boy over my glasses. "Well, for writing purposes, go to the four hundreds," I said, pointing to a corner of the library.

"Thanks." He gave a nervous smile.

He returned after a few seconds with a thin, paper-back book. "It's really interesting."

I took the book from him and scanned his card. Sam Winchester. Grade nine.

I narrowed my eyes at the boy, but under the watch of Sara, I gave him the book. "_He_ needs to bring it back in two weeks."

The kid, Sam, said, "I'll make sure to tell him." And he was gone in a panic.

Sara leaned on the desk as I logged out of the system and shouldered my bag. "Who was that?"

"The brother of an assbutt."

Insert Bar

I didn't want to do it today. I had time, though, and I was on track. I stopped by the office and told the receptionist that I had just lost my guts in a garbage can outside; she'd forget I even came in to see her.

I walked home, locked the door, and immediately crawled into bed. Good morning, world. I'm Castiel Novak and I'm skipping today.

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><p><strong>I like Keegan Connor Tracy, so I used Sara. I think she'd be a good librarian. So, how'd you like it? Review? Follows? Share? I mean, you don't have to. <strong>


	3. I Was Given a Choice

**I'm way ahead of you, chapter three! Now, please bear with me. This is going to partially be a 'tutor' story. Ew. I know. It's done a lot, but this fic doesn't just center on that. So, I've got that going for me. Another thing, these chapters aren't going to be extremely super long; maybe 1000-2000 words at most. **

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><p>School was over, and I was asked to come speak to my English teacher. He was a spacey, weird man, Chuck Shurley. What was weirder was that he wanted us to call him Chuck. Not Mr. Shurley, or Sir, but Chuck. But, his wanting to see me started my mind racing with all the possibilities of what he could want. I got something wrong, missing yesterday cost me forty points or something, I'd receive an award, I don't know. Knowing him, it could most definitely be anything.<p>

"Yes, sir… Chuck…?" I couldn't handle calling these professionals by name.

"It seems you've received a perfect score on every paper that's been assigned this year, Castiel. It didn't even matter on what it was about. I know I don't say it very often to you, or anyone else, but I applaud that."

"Uhm, thank you, sir… but why are you telling me this… now?" Was I being awarded for my ability to research his stupid-ass topics?

Chuck sat back and nodded, propping his feet up on the desk. "I know you're definitely wondering what the hell is going on and why I brought it up." Chuck wasn't afraid to swear most times. "I need your mind. I mean, I'd use mine, but it wouldn't be good for those involved."

"My mind? Those involved? What do you need?"

"Well, personally, I don't need your mind. Another student needs your mind, your help; I'm tired of talking about minds. They're only getting a maximum of half credit on anything, be it papers, assignments, and even tests. I know they're smart, but they just need a little push."

"And what does this exactly have to do with me, Chuck?"

Chuck rubbed his face and looked up at me. "I hate to ask this of you, Castiel, but I'd like you to help me out by helping them. A tutor if you may."

That's what he wanted. I've been a tutor before. I don't like it very well. They basically sit there, doesn't matter who, and just take what you know. Most of the people I've had to work with let me teach them when it really should've been me standing on the sidelines. If you're gonna fail, I'm not gonna do your stupid work.

"And how long would I be working with this… person?"

"That's your choice, Castiel. If you deem them unworthy of _your_ help, you can just leave it. I'm not forcing you to do any of this, Castiel. But, if you wanna do it, I'll send them your way in the library." He glanced up at me again, a look of despair in his eyes, if you may. "Your choice."

"Yeah, I'll do it." Unfortunately, I'll probably have an extra workload on me this year.

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><p>I collected my belongings from my locker, put some headphones in, and started on my merry way out of the school. Some classical music does a person well, even when they've had a weight added to their shoulders; I'll manage, though. But as the piano riffs of the song, my favorite part, began, I was stopped at the door by the short boy from yesterday. He started talking, but I couldn't hear him.<p>

" –and because of that, I thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?" I asked, pulling my headphones from my ears.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Uhm, thanks for letting me get the book for my brother yesterday. He's gotta work on his grades, but he really hates asking for help."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't we all. But, it's not really a problem, kid."

He held his hand out. "I'm Sam. You don't have to call me kid."

"Uhm, okay, Sam. I'm Castiel." I shook his hand, being polite. "I'm going home now, kay?" And I walked out the door, leaving him in the school, replacing my headphone.

I wasn't in the market to befriend anyone, even a freshman. It would've been weird. But I don't think it was weird to the kid, Sam.

"Hey, I wanna talk."

I spun around and found Sam behind me. He looked up at me, short bangs falling into his eyes, a smile on his face. Again, I took my headphones out. I wasn't gonna push this kid out; I don't like people, but I'm not crazy rude.

"And talk about what?" I started walking, Sam keeping pace.

"Well, why do you work in the library?"

"I'm smart."

"Like, how smart?"

"Can you recite the classes of the Dewey Decimal System?"

"Can _you_?"

I smirked and said, "Yes."

He shook his head and sighed. "Castiel, that's your job, though. You have to know that. Tell me something else."

"I don't have to prove myself to you. You're what… twelve?"

Sam groaned. "No! I'm fourteen. That's not the point, though. I wanna go to Stanford."

Stanford? The kid's got high hopes. "What for?"

The kid proudly beamed and announced, "I'm trying to get into the law program. I've gotta study hard."

"I admire your dream, Sam. I really do." I wanted to get away from the kid. I looked around and noticed a familiar street sign. "I enjoyed talking, Sam, but I've gotta go. House is that way. I guess I'll see you later."

"Okay, bye." He looked momentarily defeated, but he smiled. He waved and turned, walking the sidewalk in the opposite direction. I had three and a half more blocks to go.

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><p><strong>You know the funny thing, I had dreams about reviews last night. Holy jebus. I'm not pushing, but I don't want you to keep reading if you don't like it, so tell me what you think. You'll stop reading, I'll stop writing; it's a cycle. So, review and share? The offer still stands on cookies. <strong>


	4. And So it Begins

**Hey there! So, here's the fourth chapter. I'm gonna take a break here. Maybe pick back up on Wednesday if you're interested. I did make a minor change to the second chapter; Cas still goes to his English class, so I had to fix that in the work. Probably won't even notice. I liked writing this one; I actually wrote A BLUSH!**

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><p>Today was the day that I met my charge. I was prepared for anything, anyone. I knew that there could be problems with the person that Chuck has assigned to me, but I'm gonna roll with it. Nothing was gonna hold me back; if I didn't want to continue, they'd be dropped. Simple. But that's not how it should exactly work out.<p>

"Can't stay very long today, Castiel," Sara noted, filling her bag with folders and a couple of books. She glanced at me to make sure I understood.

"Yeah, I know. I'm gonna meet this person and we'll go from there."

Sara raised an eyebrow and asked, "You're meeting someone?"

"Chuck has asked me to help someone out in English. He told them to come down here to meet me. We'll leave soon," I told her. She must be thinking that I was meeting a friend. Ehhh, maybe, but I'm not counting on getting any kind of relationship out of this whole matter.

"Okay, Cas. Well, don't forget to close up when you leave. Hope you guys hit it off." The fact that she leaves me to close up astounds me. I'm not judging her… judgment, but I'd at least stay until the students have left.

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><p>I've been waiting for fifteen unnecessary minutes. If they were serious about this, they'd have shown up by now, right? I'd at least think so. I think it's just time for me to go. This is already a bad note in my book.<p>

"Uhm… Castiel?" A familiar voice said from behind the shelf.

Dean Winchester stepped out into my view, a guilty look on his face. My hopes for a decent experience may have just been dashed by the fact that I now have to deal with _him_. He adjusted his bag and looked at his shoes.

"Chuck sent _you_, didn't he? You're the one I'm supposed to be helping."

He looked up and nodded, probably hearing the venom in my voice. "Cas, I'm sorry I made you wait. I had to take Sam home. I tried to get back here as fast as I could. Chuck told me that you basically held my future."

"Call me Castiel, please. Well, Miss Siege said we had to leave. Where do you wanna go?"

"I already told my mom that'd I'd have someone over if you'd like to work at my house." Considerate. That's actually a nice change.

"Uhm, okay. Sounds good."

Dean led me to his car. It was a black… thing; I don't know cars. He actually opened the door for me and I slid in, making myself comfortable. He got in and smiled at me, turning the keys in the ignition. A loud eighties rock song started up with heavy guitar.

"I love this song!" He called out over the music, strumming on his air guitar.

I held my hands to my ears. "Can we turn it down, please?"

He frowned and reluctantly turned the dial on the radio to a dull roar. "How about we get moving?"

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><p>Dean drove quickly. He turned the music back up to a louder volume; I wanted to put my own headphones in, but it might have been rude. We didn't speak once about this tutoring thing. He did try to ask me questions, unfortunately.<p>

"So, how's your day been, Cas?"

"_Castiel_. I guess it's been fine. Uhm, you?" I didn't want to make small talk.

"It's been great. I'm excited for this, Cas." He was completely different. Was I supposed to think this was normal?

"Well, that's good. Hopefully we can get your grade up." I almost didn't care.

"I want to show Sam that hard work can get you goin'. He wants to be a lawyer, you know." He beamed at me.

"Wow. That's gonna be difficult."

"Yeah, but he's working hard for it."

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><p>Dean made sure we were to be left alone. He didn't exactly enjoy the fact that a teacher of his had to assign him a tutor to pass the class. He made a space for us in the kitchen, with textbooks and collected assignments. I scanned over the various papers scattered on the table. I noticed that most of them had D's, F's, or even messages that read '<em>See me<em>' scrawled on them in red ink. It takes dedication to not do your work. I felt, just a little, for him.

"So, this is what I've done," he admitted.

"What happened? I don't even understand, Dean."

"Well, Cas, I don't know what to tell you. It's not that I don't know how to do it, I just didn't exactly care very much. I can't explain it. I know it's bad. No one has to tell me it's bad. I don't know why I just let it go."

I frowned, hoping he didn't see. "Chuck didn't tell me if we could make up old scores. So, I guess my job is just to help make sure you turn things in on time, with some sense of understanding. We'll get your grades up, so they're better than… what's here." I felt like I was coming down hard on him; I didn't wanna sound that way, honestly.

"Thanks for doing this, Cas. Thanks for the help. I appreciate it." His tone was genuine, it was refreshing.

"Where should we start?" I asked.

He held up the book he'd asked for. The one Sam came for that one morning. I'm ashamed to say this, but that stupid fucking book. He cracked a smile. I shook my head and glared. "I was serious the other day, Cas."

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><p>I helped Dean read through the book. He understood it pretty well and started relaying information back to me about it. He'd told me during our session that he knew the information, he just couldn't put it in concise sentences, understandable. But that lead to him not caring about anything else he worked on. He told me that why put the wasted effort into it if he couldn't do it. He knew he wasn't a bad student, he just wasn't great one. We finished up after about an hour and a half of working.<p>

"I think we've got a good start, Dean."

He sat back in his chair and stretched. "You think so?"

"Yeah. One of us should check with Chuck to see if you can work on old assignments.

"I shall." He nodded and smiled.

I stood, put my coat back on, and slung my bag over my shoulder. "I guess it's time to go."

Dean sat forward and shot out of his chair. "I'll take you, Cas."

"You don't need to. I can walk from here, Dean." I almost blushed at his offer and the speed of which he delivered it.

"No. Come on." He shook his keys. "Mom," he called out, "I'm taking Cas home!"

The car ride to my house was quiet. He even turned the radio down. Dean tried to start some conversation, but I guess I'm just not a good sport. He pulled up to the sidewalk in front of my home and said, "Damn. That's a huge house, Cas."

I shook my head and blushed. "It's not that big, Dean. Maybe we'll come here next."

One corner of his mouth turned up and he nodded. "I'd like that Cas."

As he drove away, I looked around the yard. The car was back. I don't know if this was a good thing or not. It's not exactly like I won't be living like I was. There will just be people in the house other than me.

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><p><strong>Woo hoo! You like? Some meaningful dialogue, some show of emotions (even slightly). We may have a budding friendship next time I see you guys. So, show some love? Review and share! See ya!<br>**


	5. It's a Singing Slasher Night

**Well, I lied. I updated. Maybe I'll take a break now. I may not have classes tomorrow, so I might just work. Now, I really liked this chapter because Cas actually gets to smile and open up. Yes, I've named Cas' parents. I used Anna and Zachariah only because I don't like them very much. Deal with it. Just so you know, I'm binging hard on movies where Jared and Jensen are major characters; it may show in chapters... like this one.  
><strong>

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><p>I opened the door to find my parents sitting in the dining room, just about to start eating. They both looked up at me and my mother, Anna, smiled.<p>

"Castiel! How was your weekend?"

I blocked her question and headed for the stairs. My father, Zachariah, stood.

"Castiel, you will answer your mother!" He boomed.

My face went blank and eventually a frown crossed my face. I turned to face them both. Zachariah had sat back down and Anna sipped wine from a large glass.

"My weekend was great. I had a great time."

Anna smiled. "Wonderful. Would you like something to eat?"

I was halfway up the stairs when I yelled, "No!"

I loved the fact that they were back, but I loathed it as well. My parents are detached from life. They fly by impulse and forget that I'm here most of the time. I was tired of it.

I booted up my computer and began to type up my frustrations. I ended up with a document that was just vulgar beyond belief and incoherent babble on how I was treated by people. If I blamed anyone for how I felt toward, I'd blame them. I can guess that they are the only reason for how I am. I feel extremely introverted, and it's their fault.

I closed my computer and sprawled out on my bed, and I stared at the ceiling. I remember once that I had stars glued to it. I miss them.

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><p>The library was closed during lunch. I usually sat in the corner, by myself. No one ever came by, which was nice; I hated when people watched me eat. But, I was fine today. But you can't predict the future.<p>

"Hey, Cas! Can we sit?"

Dean held a tray piled with meat products in front of his body. Sam poked his head out from behind his brother. I felt my eyes grow wide at the question and they're smiling faces.

"I guess," I said, sitting up in my chair.

They sat and Dean began digging in to his food. Sam watched his brother intently, like I was. How could anyone consume so much meat?

"So, Cas," Sam started, "how is it helping Dean?"

"He needs help," I answered, quite bluntly.

"Yeah, Sam. And I'm going to Cas' after school today," Dean announced.

"You are?" I asked.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Well, you didn't ask me first. But, I guess it's okay."

"That's fine," Sam said. "I'm going to a friend's house anyways."

Dean quickly shot a look in his direction. "When did this happen?"

Sam laughed at him. "I don't have to tell you everything, Dean. Mom knew and she's fine with it." The boy then stood and took care of his dishes.

Dean cleared his throat after a second. "Hey, Cas."

I took a sip of my drink. "Mhmm?"

"After we work today, you wanna just hang out?"

"Uhm-"

"You don't have to. I just think it'd be fun to hang out with you."

Was he being genuine right now? Was he fucking with me?

"I'll take the silence as a-"

"Yes, Dean. I want to… hang out with you."

Dean smiled after a second, flashing teeth. He stood and collected his tray. "I'll meet you in the library after school."

I returned a smile, weirdly, and nodded. "Okay, Dean. I'll be there."

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><p>Dean went straight to meet me after school. Sara smiled once I told her we'd be 'hanging out' when we were done working. I'd be bombarded with questions on how things went the next morning.<p>

"Chuck said I can return my old stuff for at least a 'C'. So, I thought that maybe we could start there," Dean said.

"Sounds good," I noted.

Dean lip synched to every song that came from the radio. I laughed a little and smiled when he turned toward me with a really serious face, but imitating every artist we heard. We pulled onto my street and I quickly scoped out my house. Anna and Zachariah weren't home again, and that wasn't a big deal today. I don't exactly want Dean to meet them. Once inside, Dean gaped and gasped at my house. My home was bigger than his, yes, but I take no pride in it.

"Damn, Cas."

"Dean, stop." I blushed lightly.

"It's fine, Cas," he said. "Where should we work?"

"My room's fine," I told him. "Come on."

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><p>Dean threw himself on my bed after we finished. We rewrote a paper on some book from the early nineteen hundreds that Dean said had put him to sleep on numerous occasions.<p>

"Cas, you've got a pretty good setup here. I really don't wanna leave this bed," he mumbled into my mattress.

I sat back in my chair and stretched. "So, what do you wanna do now?"

"You got any good movies?"

"I've got DVDs and on demand…"

"Any slashers?"

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Slashers, Cas. Jason, Michael, Freddy."

"Oh. Let me look."

I checked under my television to see what movies I had. Personally, I didn't buy any of the things down here. Family did and I accepted what they gave.

"I've got this one," I said, tossing him a DVD case.

"Cas, this is still wrapped in the plastic." He raised an eyebrow and flipped the case over, reading the front. "My Bloody Valentine? Hmm. Never seen it."

"Obviously, I haven't either," I replied. "Is this what you wanna watch?"

"Sure."

The movie started up slow in my opinion. Dean had noted that he felt Tom was a handsome guy; I guess so. But I started feeling tired. Eventually after the second murder, I closed my eyes. Ehh… I fell asleep.

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><p>I sat up fast, something about dying escaping my lips. My vision was blurry and my mouth tasted funny. The room was dark and I was under a blanket. I scratched my head to fine a piece of paper taped to my head. Dean was gone and my alarm clock read three in the morning.<p>

Flipping on my lamp, I read the paper.

_Hey Cas!_

_Well, you fell asleep really early. After you fell asleep, I didn't wanna watch the movie without you. So, I covered you up and shut everything down and let myself out. I had a fun time and can't wait to finish the movie. See you tomorrow, Cas._

_ -Dean_

I smiled at the note and folded it up, placing it on my bedside table. I shut the lamp off and covered myself back up.

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><p><strong>I honestly can't wait until I come up with more of the friendly, lovery stuff. Am I right? -raises eyebrows and smiles- Tell me what you thought, please. I love your opinions and I do answer back. I'm not the automated message that the site gives you. I didn't even know it did that until the other night... Well, you know the drill. Review and share, please? :D <strong>


	6. Gaining Humanity

**Hey there, friends! How are things going? I don't have much of an intro for you with this chapter. :/**

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><p>Once the alarm went off, I was up and there was no chance of me going back to sleep. I felt the paper from the night before. I scanned it over in the dim light. I smiled to myself before folding it again.<p>

Breakfast was uneventful. Anna and Zachariah were home, just not awake yet. I left them half a pot of coffee. I ran back upstairs before I left and slid the note into my pocket for the day. That was when I heard a familiar buzzing from my dresser. My phone was vibrating with 'Unknown Number' in the center of the screen.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, Cas! Good morning!"

"Dean?"

"Yeah! You ready to go?"

"What?"

Dean sighed into his end f the line. "Cas, I'm taking you to school with us."

"Oh, okay. I'll be down in a second."

I could almost hear Dean and Sam smile through the phone.

"We'll be there in five minutes."

"Okay, see you then."

I hung up first and headed downstairs. I plucked three apples from a bowl on my kitchen counter and stepped outside. The weather, not too shabby, didn't call for any kind of protection; it was nice out. I looked around and saw the now familiar car coming down my street. Dean stuck his arm out the driver's side window and waved. I didn't raise my arm fully, but I waved back with a free hand.

I opened the door to the car and slid into the seat. I handed Dean and Sam an apple each. Sam immediately bit into his.

"Thanks, Cas," Dean said.

"No problem."

Dean turned the radio's volume dial up and began to lip synch again. I rested my head against the seat and watched him. He amused me. Are we friends? It was a question nagging at me. Opening up isn't something I do, as we know. But, if my first major friends are Dean and Sam… I think I'll be good.

* * *

><p>"Castiel! How was your night?" Sara flashed a huge grin when I walked into the library.<p>

"I actually had fun. Well, until I fell asleep."

She raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. "You fell asleep? Why?"

I laughed at what she said. "We were watching a movie. My Bloody Valentine."

"A horror romance?"

"No romance. Just happens on Valentine's Day. I fell asleep and he left."

"Castiel, seriously. He wanted to hang out with you. You could've at least given him that."

Sara was right. Dean was trying and I could do more to open up to him. Why am I even getting this realization? Things are going well, yeah. But still, in the distance, there was the choice Chuck gave me. The opportunity to just stop loomed over my head; I couldn't think about it. I wasn't hoping to need it, not wanting to hurt Dean.

"You should get ready for class, Castiel." Sara waved at me and retreated to her librarian's office.

* * *

><p>Dean came to sit by me during lunch. He was without Sam today, but he did bring more meat.<p>

"You know, Dean, it could be good for you to eat something green for lunch." I stabbed into a small pile of salad.

"Cas, you're telling me how to eat?"

I eyed his plate. "Dean, your plate doesn't even look appetizing."

"Come on, Cas. Just take a bite," Dean mused, holding his fork inches from my face.

"Dean, no." I pushed his hand away.

"_Caaaaas_, it's good for you."

I smiled. "So are vegetables."

"You don't know what you're missing, Cas." He put the fork in his mouth and made a satisfied sound.

I couldn't help but imagine it, though. Dean feeding me in the lunch room. I couldn't let him do it. I wanted it, I think.

"So, how's the meat, Dean?"

"Oh, it's fine, Cas. How's the- HOLD UP. Hold the hell up. Do you see that?" He pointed at the corner of the cafeteria.

I followed the direction of his arm to see Sam sitting at a table with a girl. She had flowing dark hair and a pretty face. She and Sam were holding hands on the table.

"Is that a bad thing, Dean?"

"I don't know, Cas. I'm not even sure Sam should be dating."

And I repeated, "Is that a bad thing, Dean?"

"Oh my god, Cas."

I do not know what I did wrong. I don't know Sam's life and if dating is a good thing or not. Maybe Dean himself should lighten up a bit. I don't know.

* * *

><p>I decided to open up more and sit next to Dean in English. He welcomed it. I wanted to speak more than once, but Chuck would scold me. He didn't when I started short conversation. I even reminded him to return the paper we worked on.<p>

"Hey, my mom wants to know if you'd like to come for dinner tonight," he whispered.

A meal I didn't make myself? I really couldn't say no to it.

"I'd love to," I said with far less emotion.

Chuck peered over his glasses and cleared his throat. Dean looked back at me and scribbled out a note.

_Be ready in the library._

I flipped the paper over and scrawled out my own message.

_I brought the movie with me today, just in case. Maybe we can finish it._

He took the note and wrote something else.

_I'd like that, Cas._

* * *

><p>I had books to reshelve before I left. I took a rolling cart with me. I positioned it at the end of the shelf I was working with.<p>

"Library doof," rowdy voices said, accompanied by the sound of a crash.

I found my cart flipped and the books scattered. I caught a glimpse of two idiots, Alastair and Azazel, leaving the library.

"Dicks!" I called out after them.

I replaced my cart and I knelt on the floor. Just when things may be looking up a little, someone's gotta come in and try to fuck it up for me.

"Cas?" It was a voice I knew.

"Yeah, Dean," I said, my voice defeated, "I'm over here."

He rounded the end of the shelf and stood over me. The funny thing is that he immediately crouched to help me. Well, I guess it isn't that funny.

"Who did this, Cas?"

Quickly, I thought it up. "I did, Dean."

"What?"

"I accidentally backed into the cart. It's no big deal," I lied.

"Okay, I'll take your word for it, Cas," he laughed. He was so nice to me…

We stood and he held a book out to me. I took it and smiled, nonverbally thanking him.

"Come on, Cas. Mom and Dad want to meet you," he said.

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><p><strong>Well, what'd you think? I know, it's a lot of one-liners. At least Cas is becoming more of a person. And he's more open. Beautiful.<br>**


	7. My Night Was Amazing

**Wow. Two updates in one night. Holy Jebus. I really liked this chapter, guys. I like writing things where the main character meets and greets. Plus, there's an ending I kind of like. Hopefully you do. I'm trying to add more clueless, innocent qualities to Cas. I love him.**

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><p>I was going home with Dean and Sam. To meet their parents and have dinner. Me. Them. Dinner. Parents. My head was spinning and I couldn't control my thoughts anymore. It was overwhelming.<p>

"What are your parents like?" I asked them.

Sam answered, "You'll like them, Cas."

"Yeah, Cas. You'll be fine."

We arrived in fifteenish minutes, which gave Dean enough time to serenade us with the radio. He kept looking at me, forcing me to hide continuous blushing. I saw the corners of his mouth turn up every time I turned my head away. He poked me in the sides until I began to laugh at him.

"Welcome!" There was a blonde woman in the kitchen when we walked in. There was a dark-haired man next to her; he stayed silent for that greeting.

"You must be Cas," the man said.

"Yeah, I'm Castiel."

The man stood and walked over to me. He offered his hand. "Well, Cas, I'm John."

"I'm Mary. Good to meet you, Cas." She looked to Dean. "How about the two of you go do some work until dinner's ready."

"Okay, we'll be upstairs if you need us," he replied.

It was a surprise, and a secret, but Dean grabbed my hand and led me to the stairs and to his room. He felt warm; it was… nice.

Dean had a room like mine, almost the same, save for colors and designs. He sat in the middle of his bed and searched through his bag for something to work on. I took a seat in his desk chair.

"Cas, come join me."

"Shouldn't we work at the desk?"

Dean rolled his eyes at me. "Cas, I'm comfy. You're gonna rain on my parade?"

"Dean, I didn't say anything about rain."

He patted the mattress. I finally gave in and left the chair.

"I was thinking we could work on this one," he said, holding up a paper. I watched the way his mouth moved when he spoke.

"And you'll turn it in tomorrow?" Was he watching me?

"Yeah. Then after we're done, we can watch that movie." He spoke slowly.

My heart started beating faster. I don't understand why I was feeling this way. My breath caught once, I'm sure he noticed. I've never exactly felt this way before. What did this mean… for me?

* * *

><p>Mary served spaghetti for dinner. She and John both welcomed me to their table, plating my dinner and giving me a drink. The two of them waited for me to being eating while Sam and Dean dug in.<p>

"It's delicious, Mrs. Winchester," I told her after swallowing my first fork full of noodles.

"Cas, you can call me Mary. And thank you."

"So, Cas, you cracking the whip on Dean?" John asked.

I shook my head, a blank expression washing over my face. "There's no whip."

Dean spoke, with his mouth full. "We're fixing my grades, though. Cas is a great teacher."

Mary looked to Sam. "Sammy, when are you going to bring your friend home?"

I perked up. "Oh, you mean the girl he was holding hands with?"

Sam coughed and his eyes widened. "Cas!"

"What?"

John glanced at his son. "Sam, you've got a girlfriend?"

Sam's face reddened. Somehow, I felt it was my fault. He glared at me from across the table.

"Her name's Ruby. Now, I'm going upstairs," he said. He dumped his food in the garbage and dropped his plate in the sink.

I felt guilty for Sam's absence. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

Dean clapped his hand on my shoulder. "You didn't do anything wrong, Cas. He overreacted a little anyways."

Mary glanced in my direction. "It's not a problem, Cas. Both of you, finish up so you can watch your movie."

* * *

><p>Dean and I returned to his room. I still felt awful about Sam, though. I understand reassurance, but I couldn't change what I did.<p>

"Here, put this in. I'll be right back." I handed Dean the DVD and left the room.

Sam left his door open while he laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He didn't even look up when I knocked.

"Sam?"

"Yes, Cas?"

"Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were keeping it a secret. I'm sorry."

Sam sat up. He looked me over, standing against the door jamb, looking like a broken toy.

"I'm sorry I got upset, Cas. I didn't mean it." He threw his legs over the side of his bed and came over to me. He offered his hand to shake.

"Thank you, Sam. Would you like to watch the movie with Dean and I?"

He smirked and went back to his bed. "Nah. I'll stay here."

"Okay. I thought I should ask."

Dean was sitting on his bed when I came back. He let the movie run on its menu.

"You fix Sammy?"

"I guess. I apologized to him." I sat down in the desk chair. Dean eyed me and patted the bed again, slower this time.

* * *

><p>Mary sent me home with pie. Dean had asked her to bake an apple pie, to impress me, I guess. John shook my hand again before Dean and I left. Sam waved from the top of the stairs. John told Dean something about the 'Impala', whatever that is.<p>

"Thanks for coming, Cas. I had a nice time."

"Thank you for having me, Dean."

It was dark, but I could tell that Dean was happy; I was happy, too. I had a good night.

There was a light on in my house; Zachariah and Anna were there. Dean put the car to a full stop in front of my home. He killed the engine and sat back.

"See you tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yeah, Dean. I'll see you tomorrow."

I reached for the door handle and heard a quick rustle followed by the feeling of heat and rough scratches against my cheek. My body went numb with tingles; my nerves were going haywire through my system.

"Dean, what was that?" I asked, touching my face.

"It was a good night, Cas. Thanks."

* * *

><p><strong>Sooooo? What'd you thin? Be honest. I'm a big kid, guys. I can handle what you can dish out. See you later. <strong>


	8. I Kind of Broke It

**Happy Saturday! Well, here may be a turning point in the story. I can assure you, it is over halfway complete. This chapter had me questioning my thought pattern after a little bit; you may figure it out or not. Well, enjoy!**

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><p>I didn't know what to expect today. Dean <em>kissed <em>me. I think I should've kissed him back. He didn't say it, but he'd be here this morning. Is there a way that I should get ready? I did the usual. I don't think Dean would mind whatever I did; I don't think he'd care about if I did anything else.

"Castiel!" I heard Anna calling up the stairs. "There's someone here for you!"

He couldn't be here yet. He couldn't meet them; I didn't want it. I quickly got my things around and rushed downstairs to find Dean standing by the door. He was grinning at me with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Castiel, would you like to introduce me to your friend?" Anna asked.

"Nope," I said, grabbing his sleeve and pushing the two of us out the door.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Nothing. Sorry, I just wanted to go earlier."

Dean held the cup out to me. "I brought this for you."

I sipped slowly from the cup. It was a little sweet for my tastes, but I think it was a nice gesture.

Sam said hello when we got in the car. H eyed the both of us and smiled. Did Dean tell him? Did Dean tell Mary and John, too? The only thing I wanted to think about was if I should, or could, kiss Dean today. I'd like that.

* * *

><p>Dean met me at my locker before lunch. He told me to follow him and we ended up in the parking lot. He said we were going out for lunch.<p>

"What sounds good, Cas?"

Dean drove past a McDonald's, Burger King, and a Wendy's. Off in the distance, away from the big name franchises, stood a small burger stand; it was one of those places that customers couldn't eat inside the building.

At the window, Dean ordered two burgers, large fries for the both of us, and large colas. I offered to pay for my half, but he told me to keep my money. I was in charge of finding a table. I picked one with an umbrella. After waiting for the tray, Dean joined me.

"Cas, what's your favorite movie?"

"I don't have one. You?"

"I'm good with anything that has," he started counting on his fingers, "fighting, cars, weapons, and sex. A good laugh is a plus, too. What about music?"

"I listen to a lot of classical music. And what do you like, Dean?"

"Rock, Cas. Rock." He bit into a fry.

"Do you read, Dean?"

"Not for fun, really. Sammy's more into that."

"That's a shame, Dean. I want to write books.

"I'd read one of those. Now, have you ever been in a relationship, Cas?"

What? "No. You?"

"Two. The last one was with the daughter of a family friend. She goes to school with us, Jo Harvelle."

"You dated Jo? I wonder if that's what made her bitter."

His mouth dropped open and he laughed hard. "Wow, Cas. I'll have you know that she's the one who ended it."

"Ouch. Was it hard?"

Dean shrugged and took a bite of his hamburger. "We kind of treat it as if it never happened. Are you serious, Cas? Never been with anyone?"

I rolled my eyes and sipped from my cup. "There was a girl last year. Her name was Rachel. I wasn't even technically dating her. She was just crazy. I'm happy she's gone. It's no big deal to me, really." I looked down at the food wrappers before me on the table. "I didn't actually feel anything for her, Dean. There was nothing there for me."

"I remember her! Damn, Cas."

"What exactly are you saying 'damn' in reference to, Dean?" I asked him, genuinely curious. It wasn't like I _chose_ Rachel. I didn't _choose_ anyone.

The questions slowed to a halt. We ate our lunch and I finished my drink. I felt like asking more questions. I wanted a couple more answers. I wanted to know if there was anything here. I think I at least deserved that information.

"Dean?"

"Yes, Cas?" He asked, through a mouthful of burger.

I gulped, not once, but twice. "What are... we doing?" There was no coming back from this.

His eyes shot back and forth. "Eating?"

"No, Dean. What are _we_ doing? Is there an _us_?" Once I started, I knew that there wasn't any way to stop the questions.

Dean swallowed hard and looked up at me. "Are you asking if we're together, Cas?"

I went back to looking at the wrappers.

"Okay, Cas, I guess I'll start." Dean wiped his fingers on a napkin and took a drink. "I like you, Cas. I don't know when it started, but I do. When you agreed to help me, I changed how I acted. That day in the library, it wasn't a very good step for me. When I got home, I realized that I fucked up a little. I was pretty sure that you didn't want anything to do with me. I just wanted you to stay."

Dean said it. What do I say now? Did I really _like _Dean, or was I telling myself I did because someone was showing me attention and I actually liked it? I started thinking about it. I've never dealt with this before. My mind started racing. I thought of the things from this morning, but now I don't think I could do it. I was so excited! That excitement left rather quickly leaving fear in its place. I think that's the moment that I realized that whatever was here was now damaged.

"Dean… I don't know." I felt guilty just saying the words. "I don't know if I can handle it. I mean, we don't even _know_ each other."

"Cas, please."

"Dean, I have to think. I need to think about this.

I slowly stood from my seat and backed away from the table. Dean tensed up, his eyes filled with confusion, and started after me, until I broke into a full sprint.

"Cas!" He shouted at me. "Castiel! Stop, _please!_"

* * *

><p>I kept running. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop. I wanted this, but I didn't I didn't want Dean to waste his time on me. He didn't deserve that. He deserved someone who could feel the same way he does. My phone started to vibrate with Dean's face filling the screen. I couldn't answer it. I stopped for a second and took a moment to sit against a dilapidated auto shop.<p>

"What are ya doing back here?" A gruff voice asked me.

I looked up to see a bearded man step out of the garage.

"Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I don't know. I'm hiding," I answered.

"Hiding from what, kid? You run away?"

I stood and brushed my pants off. "A friend of mine scared me."

The bearded man grunted… or laughed, I couldn't tell. He said to come inside. He offered me a chair to sit in and take a breath.

"Bobby Singer," the man said.

"Uhm… Jimmy – James. Jimmy Novak."

"Now, what are ya really running away from?"

It was then that I looked up and saw the car pull into the drive.

"That." I pointed at the car. "Please don't tell him I'm here."

I crouched down behind a work bench when I heard Dean slam the door.

"Dean, what're you doing here?"

They knew each other?

"Bobby, I'm looking for my friend. You see him? Black hair, dress clothes, trench coat?"

"Do I look like a babysitter, you idjit?"

"Bobby, this is important."

I heard Bobby sigh and I tensed up. "I saw him duck into the little grocery store on the corner. Confused me."

"Thank you, Bobby." And I'm guessing he ran back to his car.

"He might not be there anymore," Bobby called after him. But, peering over the bench, I saw Dean start down the street faster than he should.

"Get up, Jimmy. You've got some explaining to do."

* * *

><p>Needless to say, I ran away from Bobby. I didn't go back to school. I wasn't even sure I wanted to go home, but I did. Anna was sitting in an armchair in the living room, holding a book and a glass of red wine.<p>

"Castiel, shouldn't you be in school?"

"Someone set the chemistry lab on fire. Sent home," I lied.

Anna smiled, flashing white teeth. "Would you like to read with me?"

"No. I'm gonna go watch a movie."

"Okay. Well, Zachariah will be home soon," she said.

"Don't care, Anna."

Truth is, today, I didn't. Not after what had happened. I'm confused, dammit! I liked Dean, but I'm not sure. I can't tell if it's just the way I am or that psychological blank slate, nature versus nurture bull shit. Is the reason I can't do it because of my relationship with Anna and Zachariah?

I wonder if I can learn to love. It shouldn't be hard. Maybe it's like learning a new language. I googled love. Hundreds of results came up on my computer screen. Movies. I picked two. Even if it was becoming obscenely warm outside, I was going to watch a Christmas movie. The tagline blatantly said, "Love is the brightest light of all". Then there's a movie about a sandwich shop. I could start there! Thank you, almighty computer people, for streaming sites. I checked my phone before starting the Christmas movie. There were eleven text message and four calls. I couldn't even bear to read them.

* * *

><p>A status update. The Christmas movie was beautifully done. It was more about family, but I envied the characters deeply. The dynamic broke my spirit. I can't bear to see it again. I don't know what it had to do with Dean, but I couldn't do it. At least not yet.<p>

* * *

><p>I couldn't watch the sandwich movie. I'd read through Dean's messages. I listened to the voicemails he left me. They all left me feeling hatred toward myself and what I'd done to my friend. I'd ruined it. The evidence was clear by how wet my sheet was; it'd been used to dry my face throughout the night. I read through Dean's messages again and just rolled over, falling asleep fast.<p>

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><p><strong>Okay, the movies. The Christmas Cottage and Ten Inch Hero. They're both great Jared and Jensen movies; Fell in love with both of them. I had to add Bobby just because. I also added Rachel because I hated her; I think she'd be the 'Becky' type with Cas. Unfortunately, cause I'm picky, I felt that it kinda fell apart in the end. But you're the readers. I really wanna know what you think with this one. If you guys just tell me, I will rework it to better standards. Pleeeeeease help me to help you.<strong>

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><p><strong>This already has an update. It was pointed out to me by a brave reader that Cas just running away was a little confusing. Anyone else feel that way? So, I went in and tweaked it a smidge. There will definitely be more explanation on the mindset of certain characters later (working on it now). Hopefully, this kind of clears up for you. Thanks!<br>**


	9. Just One Big Emotion Fest

**Okay. Boom. This chapter is the longest in the fic. Actually difficult to write. I quite like it. I hope you do, too.**

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><p>I had nightmares while I slept. I remember that I sat up at least twice during the night with a rush of emotion that couldn't be held back. I guess the other times, if there were any, I didn't want to know I was awake. But when my alarm came around to waking me, I gave an executive decision. I wasn't voluntarily going to school. Anna and Zachariah would have to literally drag me from this bed and force me to go. I didn't exactly want to face Dean after I ran from him, probably breaking his heart.<p>

"Castiel?" My name came through the door accompanied with three soft raps against its surface.

"What?" I asked, rolling over to face the wall.

"Are you going to get ready for school?" Anna's voice was angelic and soft.

"No, Anna, I'm not. I'm not going today."

"Castiel, it's Friday. Why don't you just go? You only have to make it through today. Won't they need you in the library?"

I covered my face with my comforter.

"Okay. I'll just tell the school that you're sick when they call." Her words were followed by the closing of my door.

Before I resorted to just lying in bed, I checked my phone once. Six more messages and two missed calls. Quickly scrolling through the new additions, they were basically the same question. _What did I do?_ You didn't do anything, Dean.

* * *

><p>Anna was waiting for me in the kitchen. She'd brewed a pot of coffee knowing I'd want it. She was right about that. I could smell it in my room. I didn't speak while I took the pot and poured myself a cup. But she did.<p>

"Castiel, will you please tell me what's wrong?"

I sighed, hard. I couldn't avoid talking about it with someone, so why not someone who didn't care.

"I hurt my friend, Anna." I began mixing various powders into my coffee.

"Castiel, you're going to have to tell me more than that if you expect me to give help."

I had to stop myself from snorting. "And what were you expecting to do?"

She looked hurt. "What do you mean by that, Castiel?"

"Anna, you haven't done anything for me except give birth."

Anna looked at me with shock painted on her face. "Stop calling me 'Anna'. I am your mother and you will learn to speak to me differently, Castiel. What do you mean by saying that?"

"You and Zachariah aren't my parents, you're just placeholders. I don't have a mom and a dad, I have a sperm donor and a surrogate. Did you expect me to sit idly by and take care of myself? That's a great way to be raised, Anna."

Her face turned a shade of pink. "Your father and I love you, Castiel. You must know that. It's the two of us that think you're the one who doesn't."

I placed my coffee on the table and straightened up. "Okay, _Mommy_, why do you feel it's okay to take off without a moment's notice? To not come back for days on end? Do you think it's right that I have free reign of the house? I don't!"

Anna looked away for a moment. "Castiel, there's no excuse for that. I know. Your father and I leave you more than anyone should. I'm sorry. We shouldn't anymore. You need us here. We need to build a better relationship with you. Do you know how this conversation makes me feel as a mother? I feel awful, but it's the truth and you and I can't hide from that."

I sat down and kept my gaze on her. "Anna… Mother. When you and Father started leaving, I'd wonder why and where you went. I'd think it was because of me on most occasions. Then I just didn't care anymore. I could do what I wanted, but I just wanted to be with the two of you."

Looking her over, Anna had me thinking that she was constantly biting back tears and trying to stay strong. "I'm sorry, Castiel."

"Where do you even go when you leave?"

"Castiel, I can't lie now. We've just traveled. We've been to the Florida Keyes, Los Angeles, New York City."

"And you just _left_ me to go on your adventures?"

Anna folded her hands in front of her on the table. "There's no excuse, Castiel. I won't give you one. What we did was wrong and I know that. You always end up with the short stick."

"I honestly _cannot_ believe the two of you. Because of my own thoughts and opinions based on what you two have done, I have gone and fucked up one of the best things that has ever happened to me, _Mom_. I wasn't shown much love, so why should I ever in my right mind show it to someone else?! You can say that you love me all that you want, but we both know that this is a broken family."

"Is this about that boy, Castiel…? What happened between the two of you?"

"You've picked a great time to take an interest in my life. Well, if you must know, Dean likes me. He kissed me the other night when he dropped me off. Yesterday, he tells me everything. What do I do? I run like a _fucking coward_. I'm not going to school today because I am _afraid_ to open up to Dean." I didn't realize that I had started crying. Not just crying, I was bawling. "And he's so nice to me, Mom. I can't just go in there, strutting around in front of him, breaking his heart again and again," I sputtered, tasting the salty tears.

Anna stood quickly and rushed to my seat, crouching by my side. I looked down on her, genuine concern in her eyes. It was just hidden by her own tears. "Castiel, I'm so sorry."

"I know, Mom. I know."

* * *

><p>That was a painful experience for me. We cleaned our faces off and sat back down at the table discussing what was brought up. I made grilled cheese sandwiches for a brunch kind of meal. Anna said she'd talk to Zachariah about leaving and spending more time around me. Then she asked me about Dean. I told her that it was mostly in the start-up phase. He only kissed my cheek, but she feels that we're both crazy about each other. I wouldn't go as far to say crazy, but I think I feel the same as he does. I don't know. I'm still doubtful.<p>

"You know that this staying home won't be a normal thing, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Well, I have to get ready, Castiel. I've got some errands to run." She stood and kissed me on the head before we both headed upstairs.

I plucked my phone off of my bed and looked for anything new. I had more messages from Dean, a missed call, and a text from Sam. His was the one I read.

_Cas, I stole your number from Dean. What's wrong with him? He hasn't spoken to me at all today. What went on between you two?_

Another message from Sam came through.

_Dean left early. He didn't tell me where he was going. _

_ Cas, will you at least say something to me?_

I shook my head. Dean was feeling terrible on account of me. Sam was paying for it.

_I'm gonna go look for him. Do you know somewhere he'd go, Sam?_

I got dressed while I waited for the reply from Sam.

_He's probably sitting in the Impala somewhere. Check empty parking lots and dead ends._

What is the 'Impala'?

_Cas, just so you know, the Impala is Dean's car._

Never mind.

* * *

><p>I told Anna about the text messages from Sam. She took me into town and dropped me off near Bobby's garage. She did wonder why I never actually messaged Dean, but if I did, he wouldn't tell me. She wished me luck and drove off.<p>

I started a short journey down the sidewalk, peeking around and taking note of what I saw. There weren't many people out and about this afternoon, so it shouldn't be hard to find an _Impala_.

I think I've figured it out. What I think I want and what I know. I like Dean. Dean likes me. I have to now prove to him what I mean and do it while not sounding like a jackass to him. It'd be hard, but if Dean really feels the way he does, he should at least listen to what I have to say.

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><p>I searched around places Sam suggested for almost an hour. I couldn't find the Impala or Dean anywhere. I had to stop myself from calling to ask; he would either deny the call or keep the information from me. I spun around, looking intently. I called out for him.<p>

"_Dean?!"_

People looked at me. I didn't exactly care.

"_Dean Winchester?"_

No one answered. But then I was visited on the sidewalk. I heard the rumble of an engine pull up next to me, and I didn't know if I should feel relieved or not.

"Get in." Was all he said.

Dean was quiet. The ride was quiet. I was quiet.

"Sam's sent a couple messages saying you were looking for me. Why?"

"Dean, I wanted to talk."

"About what, Castiel?" Calling me by my full name wasn't something Dean did.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry."

Dean gave a short laugh. "Castiel, I opened up to you and you just ran from me. How exactly is that supposed to make me feel? And so now, you wanna have a little pow wow?"

I started feeling uncomfortable. Dean was upset and I understand that. But he should at least get that I'm trying. "Dean, will you pull over?"

He grunted, but complied with my request. The Impala pulled into an empty parking lot and he stared out the driver's window.

"Dean, I'm sorry. There's no excuse for what I did. I was scared, Dean. Scared of how to react to what was said, scared because of my relationship with my parents, scared of being open and getting hurt. Do you understand that, Dean?"

Dean rubbed his forehead. "Cas, if you'd have stayed and talked to me, I would've understood what you're going through. Please _understand_ that."

My eyes started to water. "I do, Dean. I just didn't realize it. I'm sorry I fucked up." He saw a tear trickle down my face and wiped it away with his thumb.

"Don't cry, Cas."

"But, Dean, I _hurt _you. I'm sorry." I actually started crying.

"Cas, I get it. I get it." He undid both of our seatbelts and pulled my head to his chest. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Dean, I like you. I'm sorry the thought scared me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I blubbered into his shirt, streaking the fabric with tears. He was warm and the heat felt comforting.

Dean rocked me back and forth. He cradled my head and stroked my hair. "Cas, I know. You wouldn't have gone looking for me if you didn't mean everything you're saying." I felt him plant a kiss on my head. He held me against him and I felt reassured.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." Dean held my chin with his thumb and forefinger. His eyes were piercing.

"Dean, I owe you something," I said.

"What, Cas?"

I brought my head forward and kissed his cheek. His skin was soft and I felt his face grow hot against my lips.

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><p><strong>This probably sounds like begging, but I really want to know how you guys feel. That calls for reviews. Please. I <em>honestly<em> want to know your opinions, I crave them. If this doesn't sound right to you, I will fix it; I promise this. I liked writing this chapter, but I procrastinated while doing so because I wasn't sure about what you'd think. So, review and share?  
><strong>


	10. This Is Probably The Greatest Night Ever

**Here is the NEXT chapter. Whoa. This is basically the last regular chapter. Thank you so much for reading what I've written here. I love Dean and Cas. They're so adorable.**

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><p>Dean drove us to my house. Anna wasn't home yet, but I was fine with it. I wanted Dean to meet her and Zachariah. I thought it'd be right. I took him upstairs and we relaxed on my bed. Slowly, my arm creeped on to his chest. I could lay like this for hours with Dean, watching his chest rise and fall. I traced circles around his stomach with my finger. He held my head to his body. It was silent, but it was perfect. Dean breathed deeply and released a sigh.<p>

"Would you like to watch a movie with me, Dean?" I asked him, looking up at his face.

"What about?"

"A sandwich shop, I guess," I answered. "I'll get it hooked up."

I quickly hooked my computer to my television and resumed my position on the bed. I pulled the blanket up around us and Dean brought his arm down around my shoulders. He was gentle with his touches.

"Well that guy looks familiar. And that chick, too!" He pointed to a character with a mohawk and piercings, then to a girl who went home with guys who were more than generous with their compliments.

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><p>The movie had finished and the credits rolled. We didn't even notice that the screen had gone back to the home page of the website. I'd gotten lost in Dean's eyes almost ten minutes before. He was the same way; I could tell by how he looked. It wasn't until he blinked that I pulled his face down to meet mine. His lips were soft on mine, sweet and gentle. We didn't rush, I was big into… 'exploring' his mouth yet. But I loved it. It was what I wished for. He rubbed my chest through my shirt and I twisted my fingers in his hair, the usual stuff. We nipped at each other, connecting and disconnecting. We were breathless and gasping after a few minutes.<p>

"Dean, did you know I like you?"

"Couldn't tell, Cas. Especially from the spirit you've got."

"I'm sorry. Was it rough?"

"No, Cas. You're just fine. What time is it?" He spun his head looking for my clock.

I found the time first. "About six thirty. How about you come downstairs with me and have dinner with my family. I want you to meet them." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I'd like that, Cas. I really would."

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><p>I led Dean down the stairs, hand in hand. We could hear Anna in the kitchen, going over what she was doing with dinner. I swallowed hard and we walked into the room with her.<p>

"Mom?" It was almost foreign coming out of my mouth.

"Hello, Castiel." She turned around from the stove and smiled wide when she saw Dean. "Is this him?"

I held our hands up for her to see. "This is Dean."

Dean let go and offered her his hand. "Dean Winchester. Thank you for having me, Mrs. Novak."

"You can call me Anna, Dean." She shook his hand gingerly and then he returned to mine.

"Do you mind having Dean for dinner, Mom?" I asked her.

"Not at all, Cas. We're almost ready. Zachariah will be home soon."

My eyes darted around the kitchen. "Anna—Mom… can we help you?"

Anna's face lit up when I asked, but she only nodded and asked Dean and I to take over washing the vegetables in the sink.

"She's nice," he noted.

"Yeah, she is."

"There are a LOT of vegetables here, Cas."

"You worried being with me will make you healthy?"

"I'm not worried about anything with you, Cas."

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><p>Anna, Dean, and I saw around the table. Zachariah was almost here and I was actually excited; If Zachariah could try to change like Anna did, everything would be great.<p>

"Good evening," he called out from the doorway.

Zachariah dropped his briefcase in a chair in the living room and came to see us in the dining room.

"Who's this?"

I stood and met Zachariah at the end of the table. I gulped hard and looked up at him.

"Dad, this is Dean Winchester." Dean pushed back from his chair and stood by my side.

"Hello, Dean."

"Dad, Dean is my… he's my boyfriend." I felt Dean's hand in mine, comforting me.

I watched Zachariah's face. For me to not talk to him often, this is what I say. He looked over the two of us at Anna, then back at me. He then shocked me by offering Dean his hand.

"Zachariah Novak. You better take good care of Castiel, Dean."

Dean shook his hand and smiled up at him. "I will, sir."

This was great.

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><p>I suggested we have pie after dinner. I helped Anna prepare one while Dean and Zachariah had some kind of random conversation in the dining room.<p>

"Uhm, Mom?"

"Yes, Castiel?"

"This is probably a big question, but… can Dean stay here tonight?"

Anna took a moment to answer. I could see the thoughts running through her head. The silence was killing me.

"Castiel… he can stay, but your father and I better not hear _ANYTHING_."

"I can assure you, nothing will happen."

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><p>We returned to my room for the night. I almost died from embarrassment when Dean removed his jeans and crawled into my bed wearing a tee shirt and boxers. I heard him laugh when I retreated into my closet to undress.<p>

Before I got into bed, Dean asked, "Will you read to me, Cas?"

"Does it matter what?"

He shook his head. "You can pick whatever."

I scanned my bookshelf and I picked one up tossing it to him.

"_Nevermore_? Any good?"

"Very good. It's based on this show and branches out into stuff they haven't shown."

He looked the cover over. "This shorter guy doesn't look half bad. He reminds me of someone. I can't remember who, though."

I began to read to him. Dean asked questions about the two main characters, brothers, but I kept shushing him.

After about twenty minutes of reading, I yawned and heard Dean's soft breathing. From my resting place, in that space between his neck and shoulder, I looked to his face. His lips were parted, almost waiting to be kissed. So, I pecked his cheek and flipped the switch of the lamp. I pulled the blanket up closer to us and returned to my place. I don't know how today happened, but I'm happy everything has moved forward.

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><p><strong>What'd you think? Honesty is key, you know. Anyone actually read the Supernatural book series? Nevermore is the first one; you should check it out. The next chapter is gonna be a happy ending kind of thing, yes I'm already telling you this. Review and share, please! I wanna find this on Tumblr!<br>**


	11. Swan Song

**WHOA. TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY. Well, technically, this is the last one for this fic. I had a great time with everyone, so why not have a good ending? **

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><p>Graduation raced toward us. Dean and I were graduating. We pulled his grades up far beyond what Chuck expected and Dean would graduate with me. He took me out to celebrate his English score. We went to that tiny burger stand.<p>

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><p>The ceremony was small. Dean had paid the girl sitting next to me to switch seats with him, probably throwing off the complete order of what every staff member had planned. We sat holding hands for people to see. I was actually happy to be sitting here.<p>

Our principal had read through the roster of names and called out, "Castiel Novak… and Dean Winchester…"

I led Dean up the stairs to the stage where we were both handed our diplomas. The faculty glared at us, but our families cheered from their seats. Chuck shook our hands and Sara hugged the both of us, while crying.

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><p>We celebrated at my house. Zachariah, Anna, and I had almost completely changed things and they came around to Dean and the Winchesters.<p>

Dean and I greeted people at the door. There were the Harvelles, Ellen and Jo. Bobby came, and he turned out to be Dean's uncle. Bobby came with a young man he was caring for named Garth. I enjoyed thanking them for their arrivals. Then, from my side of the family, my cousins showed up: Michael, Lucifer, and Gabriel. All three of them hugged Dean and me.

Everyone had retreated to the backyard. Zachariah, John, and Bobby worked the grill. Anna, Mary, Ellen, and Jo sat at a picnic table exploding with laughter. Sam, Ruby, Garth, and my cousins sat around a small fire Bobby had built. I was happy observing all these people here.

"How are you?" Dean asked me.

"I'm… amazing. This is amazing. You're amazing."

Dean wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and felt him kiss my hair. I may have over-exaggerated when I said that Dean Winchester would be the death of me.

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><p><strong>Don't you just love it? It's a big bag of emotions! I had to bring in all these people, I love most of them. Can you imagine it though? Was it good scenery? I can see it. I think it'd be adorably drawn. Well. Thanks. Review and share? PLEASEEEEE?<br>**


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